Another thing we did on our Rations weekend was watch the only media we had access to (that wasn’t in Croatian) – a movie Sarah had gotten from LoveFilm called Copie Conforme (Certified Copy). It was weird. You didn’t really know what was going on/if the characters were playing a game or were in reality/what the point was – but not in the cool way. In the whattheheckisgoingon way. The only part I liked, that I noted in my iPhone notes and then couldn’t remember what it was from for the longest time, was the line quoted in the title of this post, described with a bit of context below.
“It’d be stupid of us to ruin our lives for an ideal,” says an elderly Tuscan café owner to Juliette Binoche while discussing the differences and imbalances between men and women in relationships. This comes moments after she observes that Binoche’s Elle is a French woman in Italy speaking English to British husband James (William Shimell), asking, “He doesn’t speak your language, nor Italian?” Binoche replies, “He only speaks his own language,” a profound observation if ever there was one. The café owner smiles and states, “But you speak his. Good for you.” (Robert Bell)
It would be stupid, wouldn’t it!? I feel like whenever we complain about him or her or this or that, people (or we ourselves) often respond with ‘well at least XYZ isn’t happening’ which is true, but also sometimes annoying, because ugh, relativity. But relativity is important because it should help us realize that what we want is the ideal and that’s what we ain’t gettin’. And we shouldn’t. Because then where would the ups come from!? And. It would be stupid of us to ruin our lives for an ideal or in search of an ideal. Not to say we shouldn’t have high standards or that there’s anything wrong with knowing what you want (though maybe writing it all down in a relationship contract (courtesy of my daily news source versha) might be a step too far — and I’m usually all for writing things down because I have the memory of a), but we just need to know where to stop, right? Sigh. And that’s just the hardest part. Drawing lines and being reasonable. So instead, we should cliche it up and embrace the flaws and remember the great characteristics instead of taking them for granted and forgetting all the good stuff when we’re mad and want to have the last word. (Which also reminds me of pride and Eric Hutchinson’s great lyric ‘I’d bite my tongue just for your sake – but I’d swallow too much pride’).
So my June Year’s Resolution is gonna be to improve my memory – in general (cuz we know I need it) and with regard to my personal relationships – forgetting flaws and grudges and remembering kind gestures and love – because I just turned 25 so I’m not yet in the mood to give in and ruin my life for the sake of some stupid ideal. (Unless maybe it’s iDeal, the secret eBay competitor idea I’ll sell to Apple for $23879128479)
PS May 22 = Happy birthday, Meghna baby!!!!! Who is now taking driver’s ed. What.