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The balance between dreaming and pre-hatched-chicken counting

September 5, 2015 Leave a comment

I used to be a serious, no exceptions, non-counter of egg-trapped chicks. It was a mindset that came with youth for me, but also one I adopted because of the fear of a jinx – that if I wished for something too hard, that if I didn’t guard it with my whole self, the world would know my wish and that would make it not come true. I guess I thought the world was against me. Typical teenager. Something must’ve happened where I thought I was going to win student of the month or something and so really thought I was going to get it, so I planned my outfit for the announcement day and then the outfit was a waste because I didn’t win that month. Who knows.

But now I’m older and wiser and I know that, for me, jinxes are silly and excuses not to dream, wish and hope. So I thought I’d stopped containing my dreams for the most part. Until last week. When I realised that after seeing a place we wanted to buy (and starting the process and getting thisclose only to have a friend of the buyer swoop in and steal 1st priority) and imagining us in it and the guests we’d entertain and the furniture we’d buy, I hesitated to put pen to paper (or typed words to Macbook sticky, as the case may be) to list all the things we’d need to buy to furnish it. I do think it was less about jinxing and more about controlling my excitement, but still. I did end up making the list, because I realised I was regressing to a pre-teen version of myself, as well as because I WANTED to dream! I wanted to be ready to populate that place with all our new things asap!

Who to believe? A fictional princess who's dressed by tiny animals? Or an Emerald (City)-tinged sorceress with a bad rep?

Who to believe? A cartoon princess who’s dressed by tiny animals? Or an Emerald (City)-tinged sorceress with a bad rep??

I also thought I’d grown to believe that things happen as they do, maybe for a reason, and that of course there will always be factors outside of our control. And that because maybe something better will happen as a result, I should let things go, especially when I can’t do anything about it anyway. C’est la vie, que será, etc. But here also, I failed. I was angry and upset and so disappointed and I let it ruin my mood (and others’) for a day or two. I guess there’s always room to grow and improve and sometimes we need something we don’t want to happen to happen to remember that. To remember that it’s not always going to be a beautiful morning, a beautiful day, that everything won’t always go my way. We don’t live in Oklahoma, after all.

So now I’m just trying to figure out how to achieve that perfect balance, because I’ve heard conflicting thoughts in some of my favorite lyrics!

Is a dream a wish your heart makes? Or shouldn’t you even start dreaming, because wishing only wounds the heart?

A Matter of Love and Death

March 7, 2014 Leave a comment

Grim, eh?

No pics to break up all the text, sorry. But this week, I saw two of the painful ways that the loving life of a couple can end. And it reminded me of the …vincibility? of youth.

I’ve always kind of been scared of getting old. Seeing Amour last year didn’t help. I think I used to think that dying young would be easier. But that’s selfish, because it would probably just be easier for me. Not so much for those I love that I’d leave behind.

Anyway. On Wednesday night, I watched the latest HIMYM episode [spoilers ahead] Read more…

State of my Shoenion

February 6, 2014 Leave a comment

Heel-o! A warning: today’s post is super frivolous.

Some people accuse me of being a shoeaholic (Hi Papa). This post will probably leave me no room to deny this allegation. But as I broke in my new Blue Shadow Supergas walking home the other night, I thought about how some of these guys have really stuck it out with me (and for some of them, the effort really shows…), so it might be fun (for me) to catalogue them. I do love them dearly after all. So here we go.

The Raindancers

Before London, I had one pair of rain boots that I can remember as an adult. My family definitely remembers those bright yellow guys and tried to pretend to forget me when I wore them. Then I came to London with one pair of rain boots. They were black&white checkered and I have no pictures. They are long gone. Since then, I think I’ve had 5 more pairs. Here are 4 of them, though half are semi-retired unless a guest is in town and needs to borrow a pair (Julie).

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Birthdate, city/parents: January 2014, London/Kurt Geiger
Insp/Asp-irations: Sarah G’s wedge rainboots
Greatest accomplishment: trekking up Widcombe Hill in Bath very quickly and then walking downhill through fields #hikinginheels, as they say (Sarah L was simultaneously impressed and not impressed at all)

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N is for Natasha, Norway and Nigardsbreen

Birthdate, city/parents: May 2014, London/Sports Direct
Insp/Asp-irations: Panic, emergency purchase before trip to Norway
Greatest accomplishment: CLIMBING A NORWEGIAN GLACIER! One of the coolest (lit and fig, obv) coolest coolest things they (and I) will ever do; getting engaged at the end of the North Downs Way! Are these my most accomplished shoes??

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Bows are cute

Birthdate, city/parents: January 2014, London/Dorothy Perkins
Insp/Asp-irations: keepin’ feet dry without hottin’ up the rest of the legs
Greatest accomplishment: having giant mouths but not letting water inside

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Birthdate, city/parents: October 2013, London/Aldo
Insp/Asp-irations: people at work have told me I look like someone from some show, but it’s a reference that was over my head that I’ve now forgotten
Greatest accomplishment: attending The Limerick Show

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Birthdate, city/parents: Unsure, London/Redfoot
Insp/Asp-irations:
Greatest accomplishment: Being foldable!

The Mile High Club

These shoes, quite appropriately, cradle my weak, weak Achilles heel.

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Birthdate, city/parents: circa 2010, Austin/Strut
Insp/Asp-irations: to roam sexily a la Carrie Bradshaw, Season 4 finale en Paris, but without the dog poo
Greatest accomplishment: staying white

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Birthdate, city/parents: circa 2010, Austin/Strut
Insp/Asp-irations: I hate peep toes but for some reason couldn’t resist these. Must’ve been a good bargain
Greatest accomplishment: attending a wedding in a Welsh Castle
Read more…